Trust Me - Your Team Does Not Want Another Happy Hour

A few months ago, if you had asked me what companies should do to improve team culture, I probably would have said, "Take everyone out for a happy hour." It's easy. Everyone likes food and drinks. Conversation flows a little easier after the first round. People loosen up after grinding at work all day.

I've been to (and hosted) plenty of great happy hours. Lately though, I've been wondering if they actually do what the companies intend for them to do.

As we've started hosting more events at the Analog Room, I've found myself doing something I used to do as a physical therapist which was observing people. Not how they move or function anymore but instead paying attention to their behavior. (And not in a super creepo way)

People walk into our events a little cautiously. After they’ve secured their phones away, they're suddenly plunged into an unusual world. Some people head straight for the safety of the bookshelves in the Library space. Others order a drink and find a quiet corner in the Salon. And a few people immediately strike up a conversation.

But then something natural starts to happen. The room settles. It’s hard to explain in words, but it seems like the biorhythms of everyone in the room align. Everyone settles.

People start to talk quieter. People get comfortable. If someone starts reading, someone else will notice the cover of that book and ask about it. Thirty minutes later they're talking like old friends.

And nothing created that moment. Except maybe the absence of everything else.

It made me think about the typical corporate social event.

They're usually held in loud restaurants or bars. Music is blaring. The distracting TVs are showing highlights from yesterday’s game which no one really cares about. People end up standing because there aren't enough seats. Drinks are in hand. Half the conversations are interrupted because someone spots another coworker across the room.

Now, there's nothing wrong with that. I've enjoyed countless nights exactly like that.

I’m just wondering if maybe those nights are not quite having the meaningful effect we’ve long expected them to.

These days, I don't think people are craving more stimulation. In fact, just the opposite. I think people are craving relief from stimulation.

Maybe that's why reading quietly next to another person somehow feels strangely connecting. Maybe that's why conversations seem to become more meaningful when nobody is checking a phone every three minutes.

Maybe connection isn't something we can so easily manufacture.

Maybe it's something we actually find once all the noise is removed.

The more I think about it, the less interested I am in creating events.I'm more interested in creating environments. Atmospheres. A place where people can finally finish a thought. A room where silence doesn’t feel awkward. A loungy bar where conversations don't have to compete with loud televisions. A comfy spot where reading next to a coworker somehow feels perfectly normal. Ironically, I think that's where the best conversations begin..

So yes, by all means, have the happy hour.

Celebrate the promotion.

Toast the quarter.

But if your goal is to help people reconnect with themselves and with each other I wonder if another happy hour is really what they're asking for.

I'm beginning to think they might be asking for something much quieter, at least once in a while.